


You’re the Perfect Plan (I Never Thought Of)

by LunaMoth116



Series: Down to Earth [2]
Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Banter, Family, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Post-Series, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Sweet, The Bots Ship It, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 12:08:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15388440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaMoth116/pseuds/LunaMoth116
Summary: Joel wants his and Mike’s wedding to be perfect. Mike just wants to get married. The ’bots have their own ideas.Title from“Alone Together”by Daley feat. Marsha Ambrosius.





	You’re the Perfect Plan (I Never Thought Of)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dandelionish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dandelionish/gifts).



> _First-time readers: welcome! Returning readers (if I’m that lucky): welcome back! :) At long last, we have the sequel to my first MST3K story,_ I’ll Make It Up to You. _For those who have not read that story, all you really need to know is that (SPOILER ALERT) Joel and Mike (and the ’bots) reunited back on Earth, fell in love, and got engaged at the end of that story. (I don’t do complicated plots, folks. Not yet, anyway.) A couple OCs are mentioned; Kendra (Davies) was formerly Joel’s teenaged shop employee and is now the ’bots’ babysitter. Her younger twin brothers are friends with Tom and Crow. Daisy (Powell) is her high school sweetheart and the ’bots’ other babysitter. A couple running gags return from the first story, and there are a few references to prior events, but nothing too “inside”, I think. (Of course, if you want to start with the first story, I certainly won’t stop you. ^_^) As before, expect enough fluff and melt-in-your-mouth sweetness to open a cotton candy factory, with a dose of snark and ’bot shenanigans to keep things from getting _too_ sugary. *g* (They still ship it, of course — now more than ever.)_  
>  _For Dandelionish, of course, whom I can never bear (or dare) to disappoint, and who always assures me that my mind is a strange and wonderful place; we met by chance, but are friends by choice. I am grateful every single day that you choose to be my friend. Here’s to twelve years and more! <3 Also dedicated to everyone who gave so much kind support to_ I’ll Make It Up to You _; this story would never have happened as quickly without the lovely response that story got. Thank you all so, so much! I hope you enjoy this one, too. :)_  
>  _Also, I may have written parts of this story while listening to “Somebody’s Getting Married” from_ The Muppets Take Manhattan. _Because that’s how I roll. *g* Thank you for reading!_
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** _I own nothing; therefore, I’m not worth suing. :P_

_“You’re the desert sand, I’ll be your water_  
_And you’re the perfect plan I never thought of_  
_I don’t wanna do this on my own_  
_And you shouldn’t have to be alone_ _  
I would rather be alone together…”_

_~ “Alone Together”, Daley feat. Marsha Ambrosius_

 

During another normal day in the Robinson-Nelson household, Joel walked into the kitchen to find Mike sitting at the table, his left wrist wrapped in a towel that was holding an ice pack.

“Let me guess,” Joel said, grinning. “Wrist cramps again?”

Mike shrugged, smiling. “What can I say? I like how this looks.” Pulling off the towel, he turned his left hand to show Joel his engagement ring — and immediately winced in pain.

“Take it easy, honey,” Joel said soothingly, wrapping his arms around Mike’s shoulders from behind and kissing the top of his head as Mike re-iced his wrist. He rested his right hand on top of Mike’s and smiled as Mike curled their fingers together, his slipping perfectly into the spaces between Mike’s.

They’d been engaged for three weeks now and had never been happier. When he’d decided to propose to Mike, Joel had wondered how taking this next step might change things; he eventually concluded nothing would change, given that they’d been a couple for almost two years and had lived together even before then. They had talked about marriage casually on several occasions, but he and Mike had long considered themselves married in spirit; they didn’t need vows or papers to prove it. Surely, being “officially” engaged wouldn’t make a difference.

Logically, it didn’t. Emotionally was another story. Every time he looked at Mike now, he still couldn’t believe this amazing man was his _fiancé_ , not just his partner, boyfriend or whatever term was popular these days. Sure, he’d known for a long time that he was in love with Mike (almost as long as it had taken him to realize that fact). But until now he hadn’t realized just how much he truly loved him, or how much Mike loved him, too.

He tightened his arms around Mike, just a little, as two simple, yet startling thoughts ran through his mind yet again, the same thoughts he had had every time he had looked at Mike these last few weeks.

_I’m going to spend the rest of my life with him._

He _wants to spend the rest of his life with_ me.

“Hey,” he said as Mike looked up at him. “Guess what?”

“What?”

Joel smiled. “I love you.”

Mike grinned. “Well, good. Because I love you, too.”

Joel leaned down to kiss him, and Mike reached up, a little awkwardly, with his free hand to pull him closer. The kiss was warm, gentle, full of promise, not just for the rest of the afternoon but the future that now lay ahead of them.

“You know,” Joel said when they finally, reluctantly broke apart, “we’re going to have to talk about this getting married thing at some point.”

Mike shrugged. “What’s to talk about? I already said yes.” He wiggled his left ring finger, sticking out of the ice pack, as proof.

Joel resisted an eyeroll. Even now it was sometimes hard to tell when Mike was teasing him and when he genuinely didn’t understand something. “You know, stuff like _when_ and _where_ we’re getting married. Little details like that.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Mike was quiet for a moment. “Joel, it’s not that it’s not important to me —”

Joel immediately shook his head. “No, Mike. I never thought that.”

“It’s just — I’ve never done this before, you know? Never even come close. I don’t know _what_ or _when_ or _how_ I’m supposed to do anything. And it’s not just me anymore, it’s _you_ , too. I want to do it right for you. I —” Mike swallowed, staring at the table for a moment before looking back at Joel. “I just don’t want to let you down, that’s all.”

“Oh, Mike.” Joel held him tighter. “You’ve _never_ let me down, not once. You couldn’t.” He pulled back to look him in the eye, smiling a little. “Why do you think I want to marry you?”

A teasing glint returned to Mike’s eye as he pretended to think it over. “You’re getting sick of all the great sex?”

“Oh, you!” Joel swatted him playfully and they laughed together, Joel rewrapping his arms around him. “We’ll figure this out, Mike. Just like we did the first time.”

Mike turned to look at him again, hopeful now. “Together?”

Joel nodded. “Together.” As he leaned down, he whispered, “Always.”

Their lips met in a longer, slower kiss, mouths parting and tongues skating together, embers fanning into flames. Joel barely paid attention to the growing crick in his neck as they kissed, savoring the feel of Mike underneath him, the gentle grasp of Mike’s fingers beneath his chin as if Mike needed to anchor himself, to make sure he wasn’t going anywhere.

He’d always be there for Mike to hold onto.

Eventually, however, Joel had to lift his head, and as they reluctantly came up for air, he whispered raggedly, “Where are the ’bots?”

“Play date with the Davies twins, work retreat, and photo club day trip.” Joel smiled as Mike ticked them all off on his fingers. There were a lot of things Mike didn’t know (whether or not he would admit it), but he prided himself on always knowing where the ’bots were, just as Joel did.

“So,” Joel said slyly as Mike turned back to look at him, “we’ve got a few hours to ourselves.”

Mike tilted his head. “Mr. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me, aren’t you?”

Joel raised an eyebrow. “How long have you been waiting to use that one?”

“A while,” Mike admitted.

Joel laughed. “Well, it would have worked anytime. Come on.”

Mike didn’t need to be told twice as he quickly stood up, unwrapping the ice pack from his wrist and tossing it onto the table as he started to follow Joel out of the kitchen.

“Wait,” Joel said, stopping. “What about your wrist?”

Mike winked. “Luckily for you, I don’t need _both_ hands.”

o~O~o

Having never been in a hurry to get married, Joel had never given any thought to what his wedding might be like. All the stereotypical images had drifted through his head at some point — masses of flowers, a multi-tiered cake, his mother crying her eyes out in the front row — but they hadn’t been visions, more like vague ideas. And he had certainly had no idea about who would be waiting for him at the end of the aisle.

Then he’d met Mike. And three years later, by some miracle or favor he’d been granted by the universe, Mike had agreed to marry him. Never, ever would he have believed he could be so lucky.

So, now that he knew who’d be meeting him at the altar…now what? Building robots and his own spaceship had been a breeze compared to thinking about _this_. At least he’d been going off his mechanical knowledge for those undertakings (even if he did make most of it up as he went along); here, he had no idea where to even start.

(Un)fortunately, Mike didn’t know much more about weddings than Joel did. When asked, Mike shrugged and said he hadn’t been to a wedding in years, even before going into space; after a certain point in his twenties, he’d stopped going to his friends’ and extended family members’ weddings simply because he couldn’t afford to go to them all. (Not that “accidentally” setting his mailbox on fire after receiving his tenth invitation in two years had had anything to do with it. Nope.)

At first, they weren’t even sure they were going to _have_ a wedding, given that they had neither the desire nor the budget for anything fancy; Joel initially suggested that they just get married at City Hall, with only the ’bots present, but he made the mistake of voicing this idea in front of Gypsy, who immediately vetoed that plan.

“You two are only going to do this once, right?” she asked. “For goodness’ sake, you should do it properly!”

Joel looked at Mike, who shrugged. “She’s got a point,” he said, smiling a little. _“I_ certainly don’t plan on ever doing this again.”

Neither did Joel — for several reasons. Well, when Gypsy put it that way, he had to admit the idea of a wedding might be a good one. “Okay,” he said. “Do you have any ideas, Gypsy?”

“Well, actually, I wanted to ask…” Gypsy looked at them keenly, almost pleadingly. “Can I plan your wedding?”

Joel and Mike stared at her for a moment. “Honey,” Joel said finally, “are you sure? It’s a big responsibility and —”

“Can’t be any harder than running ConGypsCo,” Gypsy pointed out.

Well, she had him there. Even if these days she mostly delegated that task — which he supposed was the true measure of responsibility.

“You won’t let me throw you a bridal shower,” Gypsy added, a pout in her voice. “At least let me do this for you.”

Joel had no desire to rehash the several conversations he and Mike had had with her about why they didn’t want a bridal shower, so any chance at a reprieve was greatly welcomed. He glanced at Mike, who nodded and smiled.

“Okay, honey,” he said to Gypsy, reaching to pat her head. “Just don’t go to too much trouble, all right?”

“Thank you, thank you, Joel!” Gypsy almost dove at him in her haste to nuzzle his shoulder; Joel had barely regained his footing before she went for Mike. “You won’t have to worry about anything. Just show up and say ‘I do.’”

“I think we can manage that,” Mike said, laughing as he wrapped an arm around her; Joel smiled at the way she leaned into his embrace.

Of course, they did have to have _some_ input; otherwise, as Joel put it, “We might end up getting married at the Putt-Putt Panorama, eating grilled cheese and rice pudding and listening to an accordion player.”

Mike perked up at this. “You know, that’s actually not a bad idea. Think we could —?”

 _“No._ Absolutely not.” Not even a lifetime of free games could convince Joel to get married at the Putt-Putt Panorama.

Mike sagged in defeat. “All right. But could you at least think about the grilled cheese?”

Joel smiled, deciding to toss Mike a bone. “With tomato or bacon?”

As it turned out, deciding to have a wedding was the easy part. Choosing the _where_ and _when_ weren’t nearly as simple. Neither of them was interested in a church wedding, but every venue Gypsy suggested turned out to be too expensive, too far away, or had too long a waiting list. Or all three.

“Couldn’t we just do it in the backyard?” Mike finally offered.

Joel stared at him. “And only be able to invite fifteen people — twenty if we moved the shed?”

Mike scoffed. “You say that like it’s a bad thing. And we could invite thirty if you move all those spare car parts that keep mysteriously piling up back there.”

Joel exhaled. “Fine. We can get married in the backyard…once _you_ reseed the lawn and repaint the fence like you’ve been saying you would do.”

Mike looked at him like he was the defendant and Joel was about to hand down sentence. “Um…how long have I been saying that?”

“Since last summer.”

Mike clasped his hands, rested them on the table and looked Joel in the eye. “I’ll do it once you move those car parts.”

So the backyard wedding was out.

After much discussion, they finally decided to get married at Maple Grove Central Park; it was within their budget, convenient to their home and the place where they’d had their first date. One phone call later, Gypsy announced that they were in luck; there had just been a cancellation, so the park had a date open that August.

“August? That’s great!” Mike turned to Joel, smiling. “We don’t have to wait a year and there’s enough time to invite everyone.”

“August?” Joel repeated. Involuntarily, he gulped. “That’s…only three months away. It’s so _soon.”_

“Cold feet already?” Mike cocked his head. “You know, _you’re_ the one who proposed to _me.”_

Gypsy glared at him. “Don’t you _dare_ back out now, Joel Robinson!”

“No, no!” Joel quickly held up his hands. The last thing he needed was another Gypsy crushing — one he was sure Mike would not prevent. “That’s not it at all. It’s just — there’s so much to do. We’ve got to figure out the guest list and pick the menu and —”

“Joel, Joel, Joel.” Gypsy was shaking her head. “What did I tell you before? You won’t have to worry about anything.”

“You realize that’s a little like telling Mike he doesn’t have to hit his head on that pipe every time he goes into the basement?” said Tom, who had just hovered into the kitchen.

Mike glared at him. “It only happens every _other_ time I go down there.”

Joel looked at the assembled members of his family in disbelief. “Do I really worry that much?”

 _“Yes,”_ they chorused.

Joel sighed. Well, he was man enough to admit they weren’t wrong. He would be the first to say his mind didn’t have an off switch, and while that was a blessing in many ways, it definitely had its downsides. He could never simply accept a situation as it was; he always had to try and think about every possibility, every perspective, for better or for worse. On one hand, that had led to the creation of the ’bots, but on the other, if he’d let his anxieties do the thinking all those months ago, he and Mike might never even have gotten together.

If there was one thing in this world that he had no qualms about whatsoever, it was marrying Mike. Of course he wanted it to be perfect. Of course he wanted every last detail to be right. But…did that really matter? At the end of their wedding day, he and Mike would be married, regardless of anything else that transpired. That was what he had to remember. And Gypsy, who he knew was more than capable, was offering to take care of everything. She’d see to it that the day was perfect. She wouldn’t accept anything less.

“You’re right,” he admitted. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so stressed out about this.”

“Oh, Joel.” Unexpectedly, Mike put a comforting arm around him. “You don’t have to apologize. It’s okay if you’re a little nervous — I know you want this to be perfect. But don’t let that get in the way of enjoying yourself. This’ll be great.”

“The best day of your lives!” Gypsy chimed in. “I’ll make sure of that.”

Joel nodded. He smiled at his husband-to-be. “Okay. You’re right. Both of you. Thank you, honey. And you too, Gypsy.” He reached up, squeezing the hand resting on his shoulder, and Mike pulled him closer.

Tom, who had been observing in silence, suddenly spoke up. “Well, Joel, seems you’re already starting this marriage off on the right foot. Or is it the wrong foot?”

Joel looked at him, puzzled. “What do you mean, Tom?”

“You just admitted Mike is right.” Tom hovered over to the fridge.

“And me, too!” Gypsy added gleefully.

“But _you’re_ not marrying him,” Tom pointed out. “Thank the gods and little fishes.”

Mike perked up. “Hey, Tom, you’re right!” He looked at Joel triumphantly. “See? It’s not that hard to admit that I’m right.”

“Now, wait a minute —” Joel started, not caring that he was clearly outnumbered.

“So, looks like we’re all right except Joel. Boy, is _that_ a refreshing change of pace. Speaking of refreshing…” Tom opened the fridge. “Hey! Who drank all the Orange Crush?”

Mike started to leave the kitchen. “Without admitting anything, I just bought some more. I think it’s in the basement.”

He disappeared in the direction of the stairs. Barely two minutes had passed when they heard a _clank_ and an _“Ow!”_

o~O~o

Of course, even with Gypsy handling everything and Joel trying his best not to worry, some stress was inevitable. Even simple weddings still needed plenty of planning and arranging, and no matter how hard Joel tried to pull out of it, to decrease his anxiety, he always found himself getting sucked back in, like trying to outrun a tornado.

They had decided not to have a wedding party and just have the ’bots stand up with them, so that was one less complication. But then there was everyone else who’d be coming. For every friend or family member who was invited, there were three more calling and demanding to know why _they_ hadn’t been invited.

“Nothing gets family out of the woodwork like money or wedding invitations,” Mike noted dryly as he hung up on his fourth phone call of the day — or perhaps he had been hung up on. Either way, he didn’t seem disappointed. “Do I even _have_ an Aunt Margaret?”

A frazzled Joel looked up from the kitchen table with the list he’d been crossing names off of. “Then why can’t we get RSVPs from half the people we _did_ invite?”

Mike shrugged. “Maybe that’s why we get along so much better with them. They never talk to us.”

There was, of course, more than that to take care of. The ’bots all needed new clothes, which Tom and Gypsy were especially excited about. Once Tom had been assured that he _could_ wear a dress, he zipped around bridal shops in enthusiasm, spinning through the racks and scaring more than a few saleswomen. Gypsy, thrilled that there was no bride for her to upstage, was planning on going all out with her outfit. Fortunately, Kendra and Daisy were home from school and more than delighted to take the ’bots shopping on the weekends, so that was (slightly) less of a headache for Joel and Mike to deal with.

Cambot was a little miffed when they hired a photographer, but was placated when Joel and Mike assured him that they just wanted him to enjoy the day with everyone else, and not have to work on capturing every detail. He was, of course, welcome to take his own photos and videos if and when he pleased.

Gypsy, to her credit, was remarkably patient throughout. She even managed the Herculean task of figuring out a menu that accommodated too many dietary restrictions to count (“No, Tom — the vegetarian option cannot be ‘don’t eat’”). For someone who had never planned a wedding before, she was doing an excellent job. Joel would freely admit this was yet another example of his creation surpassing her creator.

Even so, as the time drew closer, Joel could not shake the anxieties that were starting to rear their heads again. They had the date, the place, the guests, the food — all the pieces were there to fit together. But there was still so much that was out of his control, out of anyone’s control. What if the weather was bad? What if some of the guests had a disagreement? With so much detail to keep track of, what if there was something, somewhere that even Gypsy’s capable eye had overlooked?

Some days he was ready to just wake Mike up at three a.m., grab him and the ’bots, and run off in the middle of the night to elope. It wasn’t like he was sleeping much lately, anyway.

Then he’d take a deep breath and remind himself that they were going to do this “properly”, with everyone they loved, and it _would_ be perfect. He couldn’t let himself think otherwise, not even for a moment.

Because then there was a chance it might not be.

o~O~o

Three months flew by, it seemed, in the space of a breath.

The week leading up to Joel and Mike’s wedding was a flurry of activity — picking people up at the airport, finalizing last-minute details, and trying to juggle all that with a normal work week. They had the rehearsal and dinner on Thursday, since the venue wasn’t going to be available on Friday night. Neither of them minded, since one extra day would hardly make a difference.

Friday finally rolled around. In less than twenty-four hours, they’d be married. The entire day, Joel couldn’t stop looking at his calendar — and the clock — in disbelief.

Was he nervous? Yes. Scared? No. He wanted to enjoy every moment and yet just get through the whole thing so they could finally relax and get back to normal life.

That night, Joel was so tired that he just wanted to eat Chinese takeout at home in front of the TV, but Mike insisted they go out. And not just anywhere; no, he wanted to go somewhere _nice,_ where they’d have to dress up and wait for their food. Joel didn’t see the point, but Mike wouldn’t back down.

“C’mon, we haven’t had a date in ages. We didn’t even have movie night this week. We certainly won’t get any time to ourselves tomorrow.”

Guiltily, Joel realized he was right; date night had fallen by the wayside over the last few weeks, given how busy they’d been. When he heard Kendra and Daisy were only too happy to babysit, he finally acquiesced.

Dinner was surprisingly relaxing; every time Joel tried to bring up the wedding, Mike would gently steer him away from the subject, and soon Joel got the point. They talked about things they hadn’t discussed in some time: movies, work, the ’bots’ summer activities, neighborhood happenings. As the evening went on and the conversation slid into the warm, easy intimacy that had developed between them over the last two years, Joel felt calmer than he had in weeks. He’d forgotten how much he loved to just _be_ with Mike like this, just the two of them. He and Mike had started out as friends, and even now they still were. Never had he felt so comfortable, so free to be himself, with anyone else.

This _is why you’re marrying him,_ a voice in the back of his mind remarked, unbidden.

Oh, yeah. No doubt about that.

They had just finished their after-dinner coffee when Mike received a call from Kendra saying that she and Daisy had to leave early to pick up her brothers across town. It wasn’t an emergency, but her mother and stepfather had gotten stuck in Minneapolis traffic and wouldn’t be home until much later.

“Sorry to cut the evening short,” Mike said as they prepared to leave.

Joel shrugged and smiled. “Can’t be helped. This was nice, anyway.”

The girls were waiting outside when Joel and Mike arrived home; after a quick exchange of goodbyes and apologies, they ran to Kendra’s car and took off…giggling?

“You know,” Joel commented as they walked in the house, “for a couple that split up a year ago, she and Daisy aren’t really acting like it.”

Mike chuckled. “Guess their old flame hasn’t faded. Who knows? Maybe in a few years we’ll be getting an invitation to _their_ wedding.”

Surprisingly, it was quiet inside, though it wasn’t quite bedtime yet. The house was mostly dark, though Joel could see a dim light from the living room. Maybe they were watching a movie.

As Mike knelt to untie his shoes, Joel’s phone buzzed with a text alert. Curious, he pulled it out to read the message.

To his surprise, it was to both him and Mike from Kendra. _Congratulations, you two dorks. Enjoy your night._

Puzzled by what she meant, Joel looked up to talk to Mike — and nearly dropped his phone.

Mike was on one knee before him, his shoes still laced, with a black velvet ring box in one hand and looking up at him with a light in his eyes that Joel had never seen before.

“Mike?” Joel stared at him as he tucked his phone away. “What are you doing?”

Instead of answering, Mike opened the box, never taking his eyes off Joel. Inside, glinting in the hallway light, was a cheap silver ring with an oversized green crystal that Mike had probably bought for a quarter from the novelty machine outside the grocery store. From the way the light was playing off the ring, it was clear his hands were trembling.

Joel swallowed hard, beginning to understand. Then Mike spoke, and Joel was surprised to hear his voice shaking, too.

“Joel Robinson, I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”

Joel stared, open-mouthed, for a full ten seconds.

“Mike…” he whispered.

“Well?” Mike prompted gently, without a hint of impatience.

Joel felt his knees give way as he nodded, then dropped to the floor next to Mike, pulling him into a tight embrace. “Yes, Mike, of course. Yes. A thousand times yes.”

Mike moved to kiss him, and Joel caught a tear with his thumb as he reached to stroke his cheek. They kissed and caressed for a minute longer before pulling apart long enough for Mike to slip the ring on Joel’s finger. Surprisingly, it mostly fit, though Joel would probably need soap to get it off. Not that he was in a hurry to do so anytime soon.

This done, they came back together, laughing a little before just holding each other. They had nearly half a minute of silence before a voice called from the living room.

“Well?” Crow demanded. “What did he say?”

Mike lifted his head, grinning. “He said yes!”

The ’bots let out cheers that could be heard three blocks away as Joel stared at Mike in amazement. He didn’t stop to wonder what was going on; there was one more thing he had to say first.

“For you,” Joel whispered, “the answer will always be _yes.”_

Mike pressed a kiss to his forehead, and Joel could feel his smile. “And for you, too.”

“What a relief!” Tom said once they had settled down. “I’d hate to think we went to all this trouble for nothing.”

Joel looked at Mike, not understanding. “Trouble?”

Mike shrugged. “I could tell you…but why don’t I show you?”

Together, they stood up and walked hand-in-hand to the living room. In the doorway, Joel dropped his hand as he covered his mouth in amazement.

The furniture had been draped in white cloths, pushed back and rearranged to make a wide space in the middle. Dozens of white (battery-powered) candles flickered around the room. Single white and red roses, daisies and carnations tied with wide white bows were attached to the walls, furniture and anything else they could be secured to. White crepe streamers hung from the center of the ceiling, looped towards the doorway to create a canopy effect. Across the room, at the end of a white aisle runner, stood the ’bots, dressed to the nines and looking at their humans expectantly.

Joel lost his breath for a moment as he stared, stunned. Mike slid an arm around his waist. “See why I wanted us to get dressed up?”

Joel finally turned to look at him, still in shock, still unable to speak.

“Doesn’t he remind you of how he looked after _Cave Dwellers_?” Tom whispered loudly to Crow.

“Yeah, but he was dressed _much_ worse then,” Crow replied.

“So were we!”

“We didn’t _have_ clothes!”

“Exactly.”

Joel ignored them as he found his voice. “Mike, this is…incredible. But what…?”

Mike smiled. “You’ve been so stressed out lately, so focused on making sure everything’s perfect, I thought you could use a little reminder of what we’re doing all this for.”

Joel swallowed hard.

“This is what it’s always been about, Joel,” Mike said gently. “You, me and them. Tomorrow, we share it with everyone else we love. But tonight is just for us.”

“And us too!” Gypsy called from across the room. The other ’bots murmured agreement.

Joel found himself cracking a grin as Mike laughed. “Of course, guys. None of this would have been possible without you.”

“Hey, don’t forget Kendra and Daisy,” Tom reminded Mike as he and the others moved down the aisle toward their humans. He bobbed up slightly towards the streamers. “Gypsy and I had the reach, but they had the _functional hands.”_

At long last, Joel finally began to piece everything together. “Wait — so, Kendra’s call was code for —?”

Mike nodded. “‘Everything’s ready, come on home.’”

“And this?” Joel showed his phone to Mike.

Mike chuckled, rolling his eyes. “Kendra being Kendra.”

Joel couldn’t help laughing as he put his phone away. She knew them too well. Still, no one knew Mike better than he did, and he knew there was one thing Mike needed to hear right now.

“You did it right, honey,” he whispered to Mike. “You did it absolutely right.”

Mike’s smile lit up the room brighter than a thousand candles could, and Joel felt his knees go weak. Now that he was a bit more focused, he took the time to look at each of the ’bots.

Crow wore the custom-fit tux he had worn to his and Tom’s almost-wedding all those years ago, fresh-pressed and looking like new, with a white carnation boutonnière pinned to the lapel. Tom floated in a frilly pink-and-white flower girl dress with more bows than a pile of Christmas gifts, a nosegay of white roses clutched in his hands and a matching headpiece circling his dome. Gypsy glittered dangerously, yet tastefully in a gold lamé wrap, red lipstick popping next to the string of pearls draped around her neck and circlet of white cherry blossoms adorning her head. Even Cambot wore a small black suit jacket with his own boutonnière, a black bow tie looped around his body.

Joel’s vision blurred with tears. His ’bots — their ’bots — dressed up for his wedding. From the day he had created them, never, ever could he have imagined this moment.

Hastily, he wiped his eyes as Mike put an arm around his shoulder.

“Are you okay?” Mike asked him.

“Yeah,” Joel managed, smiling as he looked up at them, brushing the tears away. He wanted to take it all in, to freeze this moment in his mind forever. “You…you all look wonderful.”

“Wow, we haven’t even started yet and already he’s making Victoria Falls look like a desert,” Crow commented as Tom and Gypsy preened, Tom admiring his reflection in Cambot’s lens.

“Speaking of which,” Tom asked, “did any of us bet he was going to start crying _now?”_

The ’bots exchanged glances as Joel and Mike looked on, bemused. Joel shook his head, smiling. He should have known they’d bet on that.

“I bet the vows,” said Gypsy.

“I bet the kiss,” said Tom. “Cambot, you bet the aisle walk, right?” Cambot beeped affirmatively.

“I bet he was going to cry when Mike tripped him as they were walking back down,” said Crow. At the dumbfounded stares he got in response, he asked, “What? It could happen.”

“Hmph. Guess that bet’s a wash, then,” Tom grumbled. “Maybe we should just get started?”

“Yes, let’s,” Mike cut in. “Hold on — it’s quiet in here. Too quiet.”

“Oh, right! We need music.” Crow dashed over to the stereo and turned it on as the others returned to the opposite side. Immediately, “It’s A Miracle” blasted from the speakers.

“Oops!” Crow said cheerfully, not sounding at all embarrassed as he took his time changing the CD, ignoring the suspicious looks Joel and Mike were shooting his way. Joel decided not to mention that he was _positive_ they did not have Barry Manilow in their collection.

Finally, Crow popped in another CD and hit Play. This time, the Pachelbel Canon floated through the room.

“Can’t go wrong with the classics,” Crow reasoned as he returned to his place with the others. As Joel looked at him in surprise, he reached behind the couch and pulled out…a T-shirt cannon?

Joel stared, but Mike didn’t seem to react as Crow ran up to them and pointed the barrel toward the ceiling.

“Wait,” Joel started to ask. “What —”

“Three-two-one- _go!”_ Crow called out.

The cannon fired, and an explosion of red and white rose petals burst through the air, landing on the carpet, the furniture, and just about everything else in a two-foot radius. Joel decided not to ask where the ’bots had gotten the cannon as petals rained down.

“Little girls throw flower petals. Real men shoot them in the air!” Tom crowed gleefully. Gypsy stared, mesmerized, at the falling petals as Cambot shook them off, trying to keep his lens clear.

Joel and Mike could only laugh, brushing petals from their hair and clothes as Crow darted down the aisle, triumphantly firing a second round to make sure it was covered in petals. Well, that was one way to scatter them.

“We bought five pounds of rose petals and we haven’t even used _one!”_ Crow declared happily.

“Well? Come on, you two!” Gypsy’s impatience was tempered with affection as the last few petals fell and Crow rejoined her. “We haven’t got all night. You’re getting married tomorrow!”

Mike held out his arm to Joel. “Shall we?”

Joel grinned, linking their arms. “Let’s shall.”

Tempting as it was to run, they walked slowly down the aisle, making it to the end without mishap. When they reached the ’bots, they smiled at them before turning to face each other, grasping hands.

Several moments went by before Joel realized something and spoke. “So…now what?”

Mike smiled. “We’re doing the traditional vows tomorrow. Why don’t we make up our own for tonight?”

Joel blinked. With no time to prepare, what could he say?

Fortunately, as always, Mike seemed to know just what was on his mind as he smiled, squeezing Joel’s hands. “Or…you don’t have to say anything at all.”

One of the reasons Joel had wanted to use traditional vows was the fear that he’d be a stuttering, inarticulate mess if he had to say anything more complex than “I do.” What else did he need to say, really? Not to mention he had no desire to add “write and bring vows” to the ever-growing to-do list.

But now, as he looked into Mike’s eyes, at the man he was ready to commit his life to, he realized he knew exactly what to say — or rather, his heart did. He couldn’t have scripted it better.

And he wouldn’t have wanted to.

He shook his head. “No, let’s do this.”

Mike nodded, pleased. “Okay. But first, I think they have something they’d like to say.” He looked at the ’bots.

Well, of _course._ Joel turned to look at them too, smiling encouragement.

Crow cleared his throat theatrically before he spoke. “You know, Joel, when you told us you were gonna propose to Mike, we were really happy for you, but we didn’t know why.”

“Why you were happy?” Joel teased.

 _“Noooo.”_ Gypsy lolled her head back, nearly losing her headpiece. “Why you wanted to marry him.”

“I mean, yeah, for reasons beyond our comprehension, you love him,” Tom added. “And duh, he loves you. Anybody with eyes could see that. But you’ve already got the house. You’re certainly not having children together, thank God. And it’s not like you need to be married to be happy. Lots of people aren’t.”

“Lots and lots and _lots…”_ Crow said cheerfully.

“Shut up, Crow.” Tom turned back to them. “So we thought about it, and we talked about it, and we even went through footage with Cambot. And we saw something we hadn’t thought about in a while.”

“What was that?” Joel prompted when Tom didn’t continue.

Gypsy answered, “We saw the way you look at each other.”

Joel cocked his head, not understanding. He glanced at Mike and saw that he was equally confused.

Crow looked between each of them and sighed. “C’mon, don’t you get it? When you two look at each other, it’s like you can’t see anything else. Like there’s nowhere else you can look right then. The sun could be blowing up behind you —”

“Which was probably Mike’s fault,” Tom interjected.

“Shut up, Tom.” Crow continued, unfazed, ignoring Mike’s eyeroll. “And even if it was, I don’t think you’d notice. You’d just see each other.”

Gypsy sighed happily. “And who _wouldn’t_ want to tie themselves forever to someone who looks at you like that? Who doesn’t see anything but you?”

Joel smiled, exchanging just such a glance with Mike before looking back at them.

“There’s also the fact that we don’t think you can do better,” Crow said. “Either of you.”

“Granted, we haven’t met too many of the six billion people here on Earth,” Tom said, “but we don’t think we’re going to find anyone better for a Joel Robinson than a Mike Nelson.”

Neither, for that matter, did Joel.

“And we know _you_ won’t find anyone better, Mike,” Crow said. Before Mike could open his mouth, he added, “Because there _is_ no one better than Joel.”

Mike shook his head, squeezing Joel’s hands as he smiled. “No, there certainly isn’t.”

“So just get married already, you two!” Gypsy cried out. “So you can _keep_ looking at each other like that. Forever and ever.”

“And because there’s no one better for either of you to look at,” Tom concluded.

Mike nodded, grinning. “Thanks, guys.”

Joel smiled. “I love you all so much.”

“We love you, too!” Gypsy responded. Cambot beeped enthusiastically, zipping over to briefly nuzzle Joel’s shoulder.

“Most of the time,” Tom added. “Of course, we’d love you even more if you got us that seventy-five channel satellite dish —”

 _“No,_ Tom,” Joel said firmly.

“You’re not my real father!” Crow retorted.

Joel and Mike just laughed that off before looking back at each other. Mike smiled softly. “After you.”

Joel breathed deeply before he started, doing his best to speak clearly even as the words tumbled out in a rush.

“Mike, I first met you hundreds of miles above Earth and since then I haven’t come down. I planned every detail of that trip except falling in love with you — and I could never have predicted all the little things that I’ve come to love so much about you. I love that when you make up your mind to do something, you throw yourself into it heart and soul. I love that you have at least a dozen shades of blue in your eyes and the way they light up when you smile. I love how whenever there’s a bowl of rice in front of you, you go at it like you haven’t eaten in days.”

“He really does!” Crow whispered to Tom. Tom quickly agreed.

Joel paid them no mind as he continued. “But most of all, I love the way that you love _them.”_ He tilted his head towards the ’bots, not needing to look at them to know they were beaming — with perhaps a smirk or two. “I love the way that you perk up as soon as you see any of them. I love that if Crow wants a proofread or Tom needs a ride to choir practice or Gypsy needs overtime or Cambot wants to look at proofs, you’ll immediately drop what you’re doing without question. I love that from day one, you’ve cared for them and played with them and been there for them every single day, out of nothing but the goodness of your heart. And possibly a need to stay sane.”

Mike laughed as the ’bots snickered, and Joel joined in, relaxing a little before he went on.

“I can’t think of anything better than spending the rest of my life trying to give you as much joy as you give to me and them. Mike Nelson, you are everything I didn’t know I needed and more than I ever could have dreamed of. I have no idea what I did that convinced you to be my husband, but I will be grateful for it every single day. I love you.”

There was a brief silence.

Mike blinked several times and swallowed before he spoke, his eyes bright. “…Wow,” he finally managed. “Joel, I — I didn’t expect all of that.”

Joel smiled. “No more than I expected all of this to happen when we met, I’m sure.”

Mike chuckled. “Fair enough.”

“Way to go, Joel!” Crow called out as Gypsy “aww”’d in approval. Even Cambot bobbed and beeped softly.

“How are you gonna top _that_ , Nelson?” Tom challenged.

Mike glanced at him, smiling, before looking back at Joel. “You know, Tom…coming out on top doesn’t seem so important right now.”

“Not until the wedding night, anyway,” Crow piped up.

 _“Crow!”_ Joel and Mike admonished him.

Shaking his head, Joel chuckled in spite of himself, before looking back at Mike with a smile. “Your turn, honey.”

Mike nodded, took a deep breath, and began, squeezing Joel’s hands. Joel clasped them back.

“Joel, I’ve loved you for so long I can’t remember what it was like _not_ to love you — and I don’t want to. Even before we met, when you were just a voice and a pile of tube socks, I knew there was something special about you.”

“Now _there’s_ a sentence you don’t hear every day,” Tom murmured to Cambot. Cambot beeped in agreement.

Ignoring them, Mike went on, “I just had to look at the ’bots to see the best parts of you in them — your wit, your kindness, your genius, your heart, everything that I’ve been lucky enough to get to know for myself. Then we met, and I knew I was gone the first time you smiled. I was happy to come back to Earth, but it wasn’t until we found you again that I felt like I had come home. Every time I look at you I’m reminded that I’m alive because of you. And I don’t just mean because you saved my life. I mean that before we met, I thought I knew what it was like to love someone and be loved. You proved me wrong.”

“Like _that’s_ hard to do,” Crow muttered. Gypsy immediately shushed him.

Mike continued, unfazed, “Of the six billion people on this planet, you are my best friend, my partner, and the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. When we’re together, everything else in my life — our life — makes sense. I could list everything that I love about you, but we’d be here for days.”

To Joel’s amazement, there wasn’t a peep from any of the ’bots about how “it already feels like it” or some other quip. Instead, they were still listening intently, still watching their humans with genuine interest.

“So, instead, I want to ask you something. Do you remember when I told you about the time a meteor shower cut off oxygen to the SOL and I would have died if it wasn’t for Tom?”

Joel nodded as Tom swaggered a bit. He swallowed, glancing gratefully at Tom from the corner of his eye, wondering where Mike was going with this.

“I was trying to think of a way to tell you how much I love you, how much I always have and always will, and then I remembered that. And I realized something.” Mike swallowed hard, looking at Joel with shining eyes. “Joel Robinson, I love you as much as I wanted to breathe.”

 _Why not, we can’t do this during the real ceremony, so…_ That was Joel’s last conscious thought before pulling Mike into his arms and kissing him. The ’bots cheered loudly as the kiss went on, passionate yet chaste, as Joel poured all the emotions building up throughout the night into their kiss while being mindful of the fact that they were not alone. Not yet.

“Want to skip to the end, don’t you?” Mike asked Joel breathlessly as they finally broke apart, still leaning against each other with foreheads touching.

Joel grinned. “And _just be married_ to you already? Yeah, I like the sound of that.”

Mike laughed. “I think that can be arranged.” He glanced at the ’bots. “Guys?”

“Well, sports fans, that concludes this evening’s wedding ceremony,” said Tom in his best announcer voice. “Our final score is Joel Robinson, one, Mike Nelson, one. This isn’t Utah, after all!”

On a normal day, Joel would have scolded him for that last quip, but as he gazed fondly at Mike, reprimands were the last thing on his mind.

_Yeah. I think we all won._

“We’re the Robinson-Nelson family, and we’re going home!” Gypsy added. “Even though we already are home.”

“But before then,” Crow jumped in, “by the power vested in us because Mike said so —”

“We now pronounce you husband and husband!” the ’bots chorused happily.

 _“Now_ you can kiss the groom,” Gypsy added, as Crow grabbed the cannon.

Joel didn’t have to be told twice. The ’bots whooped and hollered with joy, rose petals showering down as they kissed again, but Joel and Mike barely noticed, sinking into each other’s embrace as the world around them vanished, and at a distance it would have been hard to see where one ended and the other began. Even now, lost in their kiss and Mike’s arms, Joel couldn’t quite tell.

Of course, it didn’t last long as the ’bots quickly piled on them, wanting in on the love, and they broke apart laughing as Crow hugged Joel’s leg, Tom pressed up against Mike’s back, Gypsy coiled around them, and Cambot perched on their shoulders.

As they held each other, surrounded by their ’bots, covered in petals, Joel looked adoringly at his husband — almost — and only had one thing to say.

“I love you, Mr. Nelson.”

Mike grinned. “I love you, Mr. Robinson.”

They walked back down the aisle hand-in-hand, followed by the ’bots and another spray of petals — and didn’t trip once.

o~O~o

Their wedding the next day went off without a hitch (so to speak), much to Joel’s relief. The weather cooperated, gifting them with a sunny day, light breezes and a comfortable seventy-five degrees. There was some last-minute panic in the morning — frantic searching for missing shoes and such — but once they got to the park, everything went smoothly. Even Crow and Tom pretending to misplace the rings during the ceremony had made Joel laugh, much to his surprise. Though, truthfully, the day could have been a complete disaster and he wouldn’t have minded too much.

At the end of it all, he and Mike were married, and their friends and family were enjoying celebrating with them. That was what mattered.

The day sped by as if he were dreaming it. As the years went by, the details would fade from Joel’s mind, but images would linger. His mother, as expected, sobbing in the front row, with his sister-in-law discreetly passing her tissues. Eddie Nelson giving him a thumbs-up as he walked down the aisle. Gypsy nearly swallowing the microphone as she gave her toast. Kendra and Daisy swaying in each other’s arms during a slow dance, talking and laughing and looking for all the world like two teenagers in love. Tom and Crow shoving cake in each other’s faces (“Why not? It’s a time-honored tradition!”). Cambot proudly scoring the photographer’s business card, tucked neatly into his jacket. The impromptu twist contest that broke out on the dance floor, probably started by one of the Nelsons.

Those were the moments he never could have planned, but the ones he would always remember. And of course, he’d never forget the ceremony from the night before. He had a feeling they’d be celebrating two anniversaries from now on.

Now, he and Mike were walking hand-in-hand around the reception hall, navigating through flowers, streamers and candles, mingling with their guests. The video the ’bots had made as an engagement present, chronicling their relationship up to their engagement, played on loop on a large screen. Every so often one or both of them would glance up at it, taking in the memories and reflecting on how far they had come in such a short time.

When they finally had a minute to themselves, Mike nudged him, tilting his head towards the clock at the other end of the room. “Think we can get out of here soon?” he whispered.

Joel chuckled. “Another half hour, I think. Just a few more people to talk to. Can you wait that long?”

Mike sighed. “It’ll be hard, but I’ll try. For you.”

Joel looked at him suggestively. “I certainly hope so.”

They stared at each other for a few moments before bursting into laughter. They’d decided to put off their honeymoon until the end of the year, after the shop had closed for the season and they had a little more free time. Instead, tonight Crow and Tom were heading to the Davies house, with Gypsy, Kendra and Daisy taking a girls’ trip to Stillwater and Cambot staying with friends from the photo club. The newlyweds themselves would be heading to the Cambria Hotel for the night, and then to Duluth for a few days to themselves.

Joel squeezed Mike’s hand, savoring the feel of Mike’s wedding ring pressing into his palm, and wiggled the fingers of his free hand against his own ring, just to be sure it was still there. They stood off to the side for a minute or two, just taking it all in. All around them, their family and friends were chatting, laughing, dancing, and just having fun. Joel still couldn’t quite believe it. Gypsy had been right; going all out and doing this “properly” meant more than he ever could have imagined. Between last night and today, they’d gotten everything they could have wanted for their wedding. And now the rest of their lives lay ahead of them, brimming with possibility.

“We _did_ it, honey,” he whispered in awe to his husband — his _husband._ “We really did it!”

Mike grinned before leaning over to kiss him. “We certainly did, Mr. Robinson.”

_“Joooooel! Miiiiiike!”_

The two of them looked up in time to see the ’bots rushing over, Gypsy clutching a flat gift-wrapped box in her mouth. Tom and Crow continued to repeat their names as they ran, as if afraid they’d lose their attention if they stopped.

“Hey, guys,” Joel greeted them. He hadn’t seen them for over an hour while they’d done their share of socializing. “What’s going on?”

“Someone stole my bouquet!” Tom wailed.

Crow rolled his eyes. “No one stole it; you threw it at Table 13.” At Joel and Mike’s insistence, he and Tom had washed most of the cake off, though Joel suspected their cleanliness wouldn’t last too long.

 _Beep-beep-beep-beeeeeeeep…_ Cambot, of course, had his own opinion.

“Oh, totally,” Crow said. “Did you see the look on Cousin Esther’s face when she caught it? You’re not getting it back, Tom.”

Tom groaned in agony as Joel and Mike looked at each other and shrugged.

“Anyway,” Crow said, ignoring him, “that’s not why we’re here.”

“Mm-mm-mm- _mmm!”_ Gypsy was trying desperately — and unsuccessfully — to speak around the box in her mouth.

“What she’s _trying_ to say,” said Tom, who had calmed down rather quickly, “is that we wanted to give you our wedding present.”

Mike smiled. “Oh, guys, you didn’t have to get us anything.”

“We know,” Crow said shortly. “Open it before we take it back.”

“Hope you don’t mind that we went off-registry,” Tom added as Gypsy leaned forward.

Joel carefully took the box from her mouth, while Mike took the opportunity to adjust her headpiece, which had been sitting crooked. Once Gypsy was assured that it had been on straight for photos, Joel set the box on a nearby empty table and opened it.

Inside, among layers of violently-colored tissue paper, was a neat stack of…

“Papers?” Mike stared, puzzled, as he removed two separate packets of papers from the box and Joel took out two more. “Guys, what…?”

Joel took a closer look. “‘Application for Name Change’…” he read aloud.

He and Mike exchanged a glance, then quickly flipped through a few pages of the packets they were holding. Joel’s eyes fell down the page to what he was looking for, and what he saw floored him. Quickly, he and Mike read over the other packets, nearly knocking into each other in their haste.

In each form, the space where the applicant filled out their new name read as follows:

_Cambot Robinson-Nelson._

_Gypsy Robinson-Nelson._

_Tom Servo Robinson-Nelson._

_Crow T. Robot Robinson-Nelson._

He and Mike looked up, speechless. The ’bots all nodded proudly.

“Guys,” Joel finally managed, his voice unsteady, “you — you’re serious?”

“Carl helped us with the paperwork,” Crow babbled, referring to Kendra’s stepfather, who was an attorney. “You just have to sign it since you’re our parents or guardians.”

“Then we can file it, and we’ll get a court hearing, and once the judge says it’s okay, we’ll all be Robinson-Nelsons!” Gypsy finished happily.

Cambot beeped several times.

“Oh, right! Good point, Cambot.” Tom turned back to Joel and Mike. “Like he said, before you start going on about the time and expense and all that stuff, we just want to say: we already _are_ Robinson-Nelsons.”

Crow nodded. “We just thought, if you two are gonna make it official — we want to, too.”

So far today, Joel had managed to keep it together. He’d choked up as the ’bots joyfully chorused “We do!” when asked who gave him to be married. He’d blinked back tears during the vows, had only just kept his composure when they’d been pronounced husband and husband. With that over, he’d thought he was safe. But now, not having expected this…all the emotions he’d been trying to keep in check throughout the day overwhelmed him in a flood.

He buried his face in Mike’s shoulder just before the waterworks started. Mike immediately pulled him into his arms as he shook with sobs, his embrace the only thing keeping Joel on his feet.

“Joel, what’s wrong?” Gypsy asked.

Joel could hear the smile in Mike’s voice as he answered, just barely disguising a tremble. “I don’t think anything’s wrong, Gyps. I think everything’s very, very right.”

Joel took a few deep, shuddering breaths, gradually managing to calm down enough to look up at them. “Yeah,” he choked out, struggling to speak around the lump in his throat. He smiled as Mike reached up to catch a tear running down his cheek. “Everything’s perfect, actually.”

The ’bots all lit up on hearing this, and Joel nearly lost it again just seeing them beam. They were just as happy as he and Mike were. What more could he ask for?

“I just have one question,” he began, once he had wiped the last few tears away and was steady on his feet again, though Mike still held him up. “Can someone get us a pen?”

o~O~o

So the Robinson-Nelson wedding was a resounding success. Two families became one, and there were many moments that no one expected. Eddie Nelson did not go back to his hotel room alone. Gypsy was asked about other events she could plan, and made a few new business contacts along the way. The Robinson and Nelson parents made lunch plans — without their sons. Kendra and Daisy persuaded Joel and Mike to demonstrate their hard-earned waltz lessons (who quickly found themselves out-danced by a cake-covered Tom and Crow). Cambot was seen ducking into the coatroom and emerging a few minutes later with a rumpled bow tie and lipstick-stained lens.

All in all, an absolutely perfect day.

The Robinson-Nelsons couldn’t have planned it better.


End file.
